Pro-nown-see-a-shon

Fer this post ahm gonna write like how I talk, 'kay?
Y'know what I noticed since i've moved here to PA? Sometimes people look at funny 'cause a the way I say things...it kin get pritty annoyin'. Like this one time I was walkin' down the hall at school with a friend a mine 'n' I used this expression that she'd never heard of in her life (can't remember what it was now). Anyway, she jus' looked at me like I was crazy. I looked at her 'cause I thought she was crazy fer never hearin' that expression. I ended up explaining it ta her and three other people because they had never heard of it either. I felt so stupid, almost as stupid as when i found out wha 'crik' meant in the Pennsylvania language. Seriously, is the word creek so hard ta say?
'N' then i flashed back to the first year I moved here. I was put inta this assembly thing they had for Dr. Suess 'n' I was supposse to say "The clock goes Tick and the Clock goes Tock." While we were practicing the thing, the people gave me a microphone and I had ta say my lines. So I said: The clock goes tick 'n' the clock goes tock. Only i said it too fast and I apparently didn't say it right. They kept makin' me say the word AND over 'n' over, because I wasn't saying it right. So I had to say it at crawlin' speed and I had to say the word AND really drawn out. Finally after doing that seven times, they were satisfied and moved onta the next kid. So when it came time fer the assembly I was bored with the whole thing and annoyed that they said i talked like a south westerner (to me, they were the ones that sounded like Hicks). during the assembly we all stood in a big line and handed a single microphone down the line while people held up their signs behind the speaker. I should also mention that I sometimes have problems with the letter O (I think I have some kind of speech impediment er soemthin' my brother has one, why can't I?). Well the person before me said Corks go POP, er somthin' like that and then handed the mike to me. I wasn't payin' much attention during the thing so I took the Mike and said, "The cork goes, AHH I mean, the CLOCK goes tick 'n' the CLOCK goes tock!" and then threw the mike to the next person...
SO my conclusion is this: The word AND does not need ta exist and I try to make words as short as possible when i talk (I make the best contractions ever, even when they don't exist)

Hey at least i don't finish my sentences with eh? *looks pointedly to the U.P. of the great mitten to the North* seriously, is that even necessary?