3 YEARS!!!!

True story actually...
Darn...it's pretty blury :(

A Classic Case of Road Rage

I seriously thought my aunt was going to kill me yesterday. That lady has the worst case of road rage I have ever experience while riding in a car. I was actually fearing for my life. Not only does she suck at multitasking, but she gets distracted very easily. I have actually been in a car crash before and I had a very close call with my cousin in May, but I still wasn't as scared as yesterday. Aunt Shelly was driving me to my dentist appointment in Cranberry and I swear she crossed the yellow line about ten times and was tailgating this one guy for miles. The scariest part was when we were at the intersection right in front of the dentist's building. She was getting frustrated at how long the red light was lasting and she kept creeping forward into the middle of the intersection WHILE TRAFFIC WAS COMING FROM BOTH SIDES!!! (CAPS LOCK ABUSE!!) She was complaining about the light the whole time and I was twitching in the seat trying to calm her down and stop her from creeping any further. after what seemed like forever, the light turned green and she moved the rest of the way through the intersection (she didn't have far to go) And she tells me to watch out for bad drivers! Thank you for being a prime example on bad drivers, Aunt Shelly. I know exactly what to avoid now. Can you tell I don't trust her at the wheel? I only trust my mom, dad and (surprisingly enough) my brother when they drive. Oh and Rick my bus driver though he's a bit weird...

Don't Trust the Green Dot!!!

that thing is the embodiment of pure evil! *Shudder* For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about then you're lucky...and you probably haven't visited an eye doctor recently. Though i guess it doesn't have to be a green dot...in Colorado it was an air balloon...Anyway you know that machine that blows air into your eyes? I frickin' hate that thing! It never used to bother me when I was younger (probably because I was staring at a pretty balloon), but this time it was like torture. The eye doctor in Clarion is indifferent to people suffering evidently. In clarion they have this really bright green dot you have to stare at while they puff your eyes. You see I have this thing about my eyes, in which i don't let anything come within a foot of them if I think it'll hurt them or something. So this whole time I'm waiting for the puff to come and the doctor is taking her sweet time. My eyes wouldn't stay open because I knew the puff was coming, I just didn't know when. they doctor had to physically hold my eyelids open just to have me jerk back unexpectedly. She literally said, "It's like torture to you, isn't it?" I just glared at her. That stupid dot didn't hold my attention very well and I was very aware that my eyes were going to be assaulted. When it was finally done they gave me a lecture about not wearing my glasses when I should, though they were surprised I don't get headaches all the time, and apparently my eyesight is pretty good even though I haven't been wearing my glasses. My left eye keeps getting better actually, though my right eye stays the same (I hate my right eye, everything is too bright). In the end they dilated my eyes when it was completely unnecessary (the doctor even said so but my mom told her to do it anyway...grr mom grr). So I ended up stumbling around Wall Mart afterwords, refusing to wear those stupid half shade things that don't even help. I'm going to have to wear my glasses when i finally start driving...though i hope I do better than my aunt. She's a horrible driver, though she blames everyone else when she stops after the stop sign and drift over the yellow line. I get scared sometimes.

Fear for the Future

The class of 2012...Oh my, what is wrong with us? These are some excellent quotes from me and my fellow classmates.

"No, Chey. Australia is NOT part of the Untied States!"

"Wait...isn't Germany part of Japan?"

"I LOOOOOOOOOOOVE ELVIS!!"

"You spelled war wrong."
"No I didn't."
"W-O-R..."
"Damn..."

"What happened to Paddington?"
"Oh someone from a later class kidnapped him and sent me a ransom note. Wanna see the picture?"

"When's your last day?"
"Tomorrow."
"Hallelujah..."

"So...you're Asian..."
"No. I'm American, I was just born in South Korea."
"...Asian."

"Jesus was a Jew?"
*Facepalm*

"I can't remember which book that was from."
"Wasn't it Exodus?"
"Yeah, that's it!"
"OMG did an Atheist just remember something a devout Christian didn't?! Hell must have frozen over!"

"Wait. Was Hitler a good guy or a bad guy?"
*Facepalm*

"But what if they killed your whole family? If you killed them what would happen?"
"That's technically murder and you'd be tried as such."
"But-"
"MURDER!"

"Ha ha~ Pluto isn't a Planet! Take that pro-Pluto!"

"We had to tell our English teacher how to spell Lightning...and that the word acrossed doesn't exist."

"I bet she's not wearing a bra."
"..."
"Ha! I was right! Juliet is such a whore!"

"Get my long sword, ho!"
...
"Shut up, ho!"

"You couldn't fill in a map of the US?"
"I got the west perfectly! There are way too many small states in the east!"
"You're sad, you know that?"

"Maryland's a state?"
"Yeah, it's south of PA."
"Seriously?! I always thought it was part of Maine!"

"Where's Michigan?"
"You don't know where Michigan is?"
"No."
"Huh. Well, do you know where Ohio is?"
"Yeah."
"OK, you go to Ohio and then just keep heading North."

"Michigan! It's the Mitten of the World!"

"You two sound like nerds! Talking about something no one else understands!"

"Hey, Lauren. You're my cousin."
"What? No I'm not!"
"Yeah you are."
"Nuh uh."
*One year later*
"Hey Sam, did you know we're related?"
*Faceplam*

"Can't go wrong with a sexy doctor."

"Sam'll end up getting high and then having a sex with Two twins. She'll get pregnant and because she was so out of she won't know who the father was. And then she'll kill the babies one at a time and bury them somewhere no one will ever find them."

"I had a dream that Sam and Sean switched sexes and Ryan was trying to kill himself, but I stopped him by tying him up."
"That's...messed up."

"I'm in a hurry and Don't know why, Oh I, rush and rush until life's no fun!"
"Then STOP RUSHING!!!!"

"My name is Debra Fischer...and I'm an astronomer."
"I understand you teach a class?"
"Yes. It's very frustrating. they never stop talking and they won't put their cell phones away and they never do what I tell them to!"
"...Okay...?"

"There is a strict process in Alien abduction: Capture, experiment, tour, and return."
"You get a tour? Really?"

"You should be doing your work, unlike those two, who're just fooling around."
*on the other side of the room* "Do your ears hang low?"
"Do they wobble to and fro?"
"Can you tie 'em in a knot?"
"Can you tie 'em in a bow?"
"Do your Ears. Hang. Low?"

"How did you come up with it?"
"Well, i was getting out of the shower when this awesome idea came to me and..."
"Okay then."

"I. HATE. BABIES!"

"Do we have to say the pledge every day? I mean, can't we just say it once and be done with it?"
...
"Why do you hate America, Hannah?"
"What?! I don't hate-"
"Well obviously you do. Nobody listen to Hannah. She hates America."

"You still haven't proven you've existed to me."
"You're talking to me right now."
"Am I though? Maybe I'm talking to myself or some imaginary image."
"But-"
"Prove to me you exist and this will all end."

"I think he has a crush on Hitler...I mean, look at how many videos he's watched about him on YouTube..."

"Dude, not even Dracula would suck that!"

"Well, it has Scarlet in the title, so it must be about some skank of some sort...hmm...I don't know what a Pimpernel is though. maybe it's a type of woman who prays on unsuspecting men and draws them to her bed so she can kill them afterwords."
"A Pimpernel is a flower..."
"Oh."

"It's so fun playing an evil guy, even if he is a complete moron!"

"What are you on?!"
"Life Support."

"I spy something black. But you know, It's red in Baker's room and the Choir room, Silver in Rut's room, and red again in the main hallway."

"Dakota! We're going to kill you if you don't shut up and start working!"
"Vaughn stole my pen, and he cut my folder into shreds!"
"That doesn't matter! Get your ass working or Vaughn will be the least of your problems!"

"So, what are your favorite clothes?"
"Sweatpants...what'd you tell her?"
"Um...I said a thong..."
"...Jolie...I hate you."

"You realize that if I'm Asian, that makes Faith English. She already has the bad teeth for it."

"Damnit Lauren! I already have dibs on the first-born!"
"No way, I have dibs on the first-born!"
"You're both wrong! the first-born is mine! Especially if it's a girl."
"Um...what if I want to keep my first born?"
"You promised it to me!"
"No, you promised it to me!"
"Your girl will be mine!"
"Can I have your youngest?"

"What'd you get?"
"Six of clubs."
"Ha! I got ten of clubs! I beat you!"
"Shut it you two! It doesn't matter what you got! Besides I beat both of you. Ace of Spades, baby! Yeah!"

"So this is what it feels like to be black..."
"This isn't bad you know...doesn't feel much different."
"And now, I'll demonstrate how it was to be black before the civil rights movement in Black and White schools."
"Why did she give us tests?"
"Are we supposed to do these?"
"Wait are those cupcakes?"
"Um, you totally skipped me. Where's my cupcake?"
"You don't get a cupcake. Finish your test."
"It's because I'm black isn't it?!"
"You are so Racist!"
"Black Power! Black Power!"

"Hey, what's that over there?"
"Huh? Where?"
"Nothing, never mind."
"Okay...? ...Oh c'mon guys! I can't believe I fell for that!"
"We can't either!"
"Gimme my stuff back! No, don't waste the lead!! Please! Stop it! Not my precious pencil!"
"Click. Click. Click."
"You're wasting so much leeeeeaaaaaad!!!" *breaks into hysterics* "that's all the lead I have left! Stop being so cruel!"

Ooooo la la~

I can't believe how easy it was to find this! And no I didn't go fishing for it! I was reading something and it mentioned the World's Best and Worst Lovers, so i just had to check it out. www.OnePoll.com asked women from 20 countries to rate nations on their ability in bed and give reasons for their answers. So here are the results:

World's Worst Lovers:
1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too rough)
5. America (too dominating)
6. Greece (too love-dovey)
7. Wales (too selfish)
8. Scotland (too loud)
9. Turkey (too sweaty)
10. Russia (too hairy)

World's Best Lovers:
1. Spain
2. Brazil
3. Italy
4. France
5. Ireland
6. South Africa
7. Australia
8. New Zealand
9. Denmark
10 Canada

I found this info here ~ http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6241440/German-men-are-worlds-worst-lovers-with-English-men-in-second-place.html Read the article above the list...it's interesting ;)

That Poor...Poor Girl

Some poor ten year old had to get an eccccssspander today XD Poor thing was sitting next to me in at the orthodontists office and got instructed on how to crank the stupid thing. I just watched with pity as her mom came and stood beside her. they were putting it in when I was getting my wires readjusted and the poor girl was whimpering while Kenzor was tightening it in her mouth. he kept saying he wasn't hurting her on purpose and it wouldn't hurt after a day or two. I don't blame her...that thing made my mouth bleed really badly when they took it out, not to mention it messed with my eating habits (I still swipe my tongue over the roof of my mouth to see if anything is up there). She'll get her braces on in a few months. At least it's summer and she can get used to it before she goes back to school :)
I'm soooo glad I don't have to hack and spit when i eat now!

P.S. Da Dum Da Da Da Dum Dum, Da Dum Da Da Da Dum Dum... Da Dum Da Da Da Dum Dennnnnmark, Da Dum Da Da Da Dum Dum~ (that song is way too catchy!)

One in a Million

Did you know, there's actually a fairy tale that doesn't have a happy ending? I was sure surprised when I finished a story called The Godfather Death. Turns out the guy dies in the end, unmarried, and feeling cheated. He really shouldn't have felt cheated though because he DID disobey Death TWICE. I was half expecting him to trick Death and marry the princess like all the other fair tales, but it was not meant to be...and it was awesome! I'm noticing a lot of repeat stories in the book too, like Thumbling and the The Travels of Thumbling,which was basically the same tale (they even had the same name!) My favorite tale so far is the Golden Bird because I actually remembered all of it from when my music teacher told us the story in fourth grade (she was the best story teller ever!) I had actually heard of quite a few of these fairy tales though under different names i.e. The Little Elves and The White Snake. I'm not even halfway through the book yet...oh well this interesting, though they never seem to run out of beautiful princesses, weird kings, ugly step-mothers and their daughters, and a brave nobody who somehow becomes a king in the end. That's fairy tales for you ;)